Designs of the Heart

“Jesus saw two boats alongside the lake Gennesaret; the fishermen had disembarked and were washing their nets… after He had finished speaking to the crowd, he said to Simon, Push the boat further to the deep water and lower your nets for a catch”. Simon said in reply, “Master, we worked hard all night long and caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets. They let them down and caught such a large number of fish that the nets were about to break.” 

Simon’s reply and his actions following it are worth giving a thought as the present generation has moved miles away from such a reaction. Even if I cajole myself by saying that the younger lot has adopted a modern approach and that we belong to a progressive race, the fact remains that commands of elders are scrutinized before they deem it fit to be obeyed.

Today in most families, I suppose, the mothers mainly have to answer to the many “whys “of their children. There is very less chance of getting an approval to the explanation offered. Most of the time, it is the ‘I am deaf’ attitude. I sympathized with the other kids, as I thought, perhaps, the process of sound perception was not well developed in them. Later on, I saw the same reactions in my children too and this time I was sure that the auditory sensations were functioning well.  The differing views of the old and the young led to intergenerational conflict.

It is amazing how a vulnerable newborn grows into a capable young person. He masters the language, thinks and reasons with sophistication, has a distinctive personality and socializes effortlessly with others.

I remember having read that biological factors such as nutrition, medical care and environmental hazards in the air and water affect the growth of the body and mind. Did anything go wrong with my offspring? The English philosopher, John Locke argued that the newborn comes into the world with no inherited predispositions but with a mind like a ‘blank slate’ that is gradually filled with ideas, concepts and knowledge from experiences in the world. His conclusion that the quality of early experiences, particularly how children are raised and educated, shapes the direction of a child’s life, disturbed me a little as I always thought that I had succeeded in giving the best to my child. Then why his behavior is questioned when he is out of the bounds of the home.

I have heard many parents say, ‘What is wrong with my style of rearing my children?’  It is true that parents can provide better opportunities for intellectual stimulation.  How our ideas will work in everyday life is not fixed. Our sense of logic is ever changing and adaptive to the need and circumstance. We plan our actions and remove the obstacles for our children and in this expression of love and care to our wards there is a chasm between ‘what is given’ and ‘what is wanted’.

People experience an unpleasant state of emotional arousal in situations that they perceive as dangerous or threatening to their wellbeing. Probably a mild response to such a state brings about behavioural changes in older children. We feel their indifferent attitude more when we are busy, have important deadlines to meet or have too little time to finish all our tasks. It is easy for me to find fault with the younger ones but a deep look within me too proves that I have grossly failed in listening to the commands of the Lord in my spiritual life. Life’s pace has kept me entangled with problems at work, in social relationships, occasional arguments with friends and very often offended by the seemingly (I differ) underevaluation by a superior.

My friends often ask me about my next article and I have no answer to give them.  On one such occasion, I ended up saying that Jesus was busy during the Christmas season and so didn’t have the time to inspire me, little realizing the grand truth that it was I who failed to tune myself and reach a wave length that was expected of me by the Lord. For us ordinary humans listening to the commands of the Lord fuels creativity and motivates us to achieve the best. I have even found that it signals danger and prepares us to take defensive action. It also motivates us to manage or avoid situations that pose threats. More than all these it creates a beauty to life.

If we believe that all human behavior is a response to stimuli in the environment, the best that we can do for our children is to practice what we preach, learn to treat our children in an objective, consistent manner and encourage the development of desired characteristics.  It would surely lead to the betterment of our whole race.