Designs of the Heart

Our encounters during our life time affect our psychological, biological and social aspects in a very distinctive way. Some people are charming, lighthearted and fun to be around. Some are ready to cooperate, accept new ideas, non-competitive and socially well adapted. A relative of mine is the most sought after person by our family members, by those in the neighborhood, the members of his sports club, the parish, his friends circle and many others. Once I heard my colleagues discussing that fair good looking people had easy access to everything and they get accommodated into all social groups without any difficulty but this aspect was not applicable to the aforesaid person. My friends opined that he might be highly qualified and so he has knowledge about everything.

 Yes, there was one thing that was quite appealing and that was, he would offer his services whenever and wherever he got the chance. It is easy to assume responsibilities when they are not thrust on us. Simplicity was his weapon which attracted others who approached him to take care of the complexities in life. His desires and motivations corresponded to what was socially needed. He seemed to feel a personal gratification while working for the welfare of others. This fusing of social needs into personal needs is not everyone’s cup of tea. It has a direct relationship to the family composition and structure of each person.

Our identity is shaped by our role within the social system. Another difference is created by the way we respond to the neurotransmitters in our brains. Dopamine is one of the chemicals when released in the brain, provides the motivation to seek external rewards like earning money, climbing the social ladder etc. Those who possess dopamine in abundance buzz with an enthusiastic rush of good feelings. They don’t require plenty of information to make a decision. They become very talkative and alert to their surroundings.  They generate energy by spending time with people as they feel fully fulfilled and content being surrounded by the people. Acetylcholine is the other neurotransmitter that makes us feel good when we turn inwards. It powers our abilities to think deeply, reflect and focus intensely on just one thing for long of time.  When we see people who are loud, outgoing and social we aspire to be like them but it is also true that few others who are shy are also charismatic in their own ways. They are very sharp and observant listeners. They may seem lost in their world but they are intellectually curious and pay attention to the things happening around them. A few lines that caught my attention while reading were, ‘We are all instruments of the divine and we should realize the power of our own thoughts, ideas and mental pictures. Our fears and anxieties are caused by our beliefs in external powers’. Whether it is developing a relationship or making money, the results are produced by a specific set of actions and a winner’s attitude. May be for a few of us we need to stretch as much as we can and we will surely succeed.