Designs of the Heart

A very jovial person, he worked overtime and always came late from the office. His children grew up passing out from their colleges and in a couple of years it was time for his retirement. All of us wondered how a workaholic like him would deal with life after his superannuation. Just before the D-day he availed his leaves that would otherwise lapse and refurnished the abode in his hometown with a plan to settle down. He used to visit us often and talk about his retirement plans in great detail. He would spice up the conversation with elaborate plans to fulfill all his dreams which hitherto had been left unattended to.

            He related to us in great detail as to how he used to watch all youngsters relishing sweetmeats from the roadside eateries with a lot of fun. Inspired by them he would buy some of them on and off and carry them home to enjoy the twosome candlelight moment of togetherness with his wife.

We were stunned when he said that after almost two decades he suddenly remembered that it was his wife’s birthday and made it a point to make it special for her. I wondered how he stayed alive all these years because I was under the mistaken belief that hubbies found immense pleasure in celebrating the birthdays of their better halves. Listening to all these and many other such charming incidents, I started wishing for my retirement even before I finished my schooling.

            His unique temperament enabled him to explain in a gripping and impeccable style the magical tales of the warm days that he envisaged to unwind in the evening of his life. He was against the hustle and bustle of great cities and yearned for a comparatively calm life in the countryside. Though relaxed, he had planned a tight schedule, beginning with a leisurely morning walk followed by yoga and a lavish bath (missed them all during the past years). He also had made a big list of friends and relatives to whom he ought to have paid courtesy visits. With the onset of his pension, trips to ‘Shirdi’, ‘Shegaon’, ‘Pachmarhi’ et al were on the cards.

Few players at his age performed with as much talent, enthusiasm and style as he did. Within each person, there is the capacity for self-understanding and constructive change. People are driven by an innate tendency to maintain and enhance themselves which moves them towards self-enrichment. Behaviour undergoes changes as a result of a person’s experience. All kinds of behaviour, both normal and abnormal, are the products of learning. That means we can help people replace distressing behaviour with the more appropriate ones.

            In old age, social relationships become a little difficult to maintain because of health limitations, death of family members, friends and lack of transportation. We can help people take up the responsibility for their own lives and to recognize their capacity for healing themselves. We must genuinely express our true interest, be open and honest while dealing with problems of elderly persons.

When our nerves are relaxed like the strings of an instrument, we experience an inner harmony. This keeps the mind alert and the vast store of vital energy merges naturally with the law that governs every individual in old age.